


countdown

by fadinglove



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Short, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-17 23:36:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7290655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadinglove/pseuds/fadinglove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>T-minus 01: 07: 01: 15: 07: 00  (Tony is kissing Pepper like he'll never let her go.)<br/>T-minus 00: 00: 00: 00: 00: 00 (Tony won't cry because he missed it. He won't.)</p><p>T-minus 00: 11: 03: 05: 02: 30 (Steve is lost after waking up from the ice, Peggy's lips lingering on his own.)<br/>T-minus 00: 00: 00: 00: 00: 00 (Steve is bitter.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. twenty-eight minutes; seven seconds

Tony Stark's inner wrist is imprinted with six sections of black, simplistic numbers, divided by colons. He likes numbers because they're logical and solvable. They're inevitable, right or wrong, not varying shades of gray like his morals or the people of this world. But when he meets Pepper for the first time and the timer is far from fading, it feels like somewhere out there, the universe is laughing at him.

But he looks around at all of his wealth, power, luxury, and concludes that he's got everything he needs besides love. And Tony decides he'll wait for that; he'll wait for love, he'll wait for the row of zeroes on his left arm.

And the clock is so close, but an angry Norse god is endangering the city downtown. Tony's a big boy, so he pushes his dread down and flies swiftly to the square, only to be met with something tall and painted patriotic colors. It's dark outside and Loki surrenders, armor dissolving in flashes of golden light, as Tony's armory of weapons, all assembled and aiming at the villain, are folded away. "Mr. Stark," acknowledges the hero beside him.

Tony greets, "Captain."

He gets home to find the numbers he's been waiting for lined up, stacked along as if an organized taunt. Iron Man breaks down in the bathroom, clutching his arm to his chest and curling in on himself because _he's missed his goddamn soulmate while fighting._

Love for war, is that his destiny?


	2. five minutes; one second

Steve never had a timer before the ice. Neither did Peggy, though, and that was even enough for the both of them to believe they were already soulmates- just not marked by clocks. "We never needed those," Peggy tells him right before he boards the fatal plane.

But then he wakes up seventy years later to find that she's old and soulmarked, with grandchildren and children and a head of gray hair. Of course, he doesn't notice his own timer until a scientist studying his preserved DNA whistles suddenly to say, "Damn, seventy years and clock's still ticking."

The truth is: he's lonely. There's Sam and Natasha (great friends) but they have busy lives of their own. There's Bucky, who's being mind-controlled by HYDRA and is off murdering innocents god knows where. He wants someone to hold at night, to greet him early in the morning, to _share_ lives with.

So Steve remains optimistic, because he loves his friends, he loves taking down villains, and he loves being celebrated by America. His life is good, and it'll just be even better with someone to be in love with.

But he begins hearing tragic stories about people who miss it. People who are screwed up by fate, promised something but never given it because of their own mishaps.

It becomes his worst nightmare. Naturally, it comes true.

Nighttime, surrounded by people, bowing down to some hotheaded legend acting like Earth's chosen king. Steve grits his teeth and dives into a heavy fight, tossed into battle, and everything moves so quickly he forgets his timer entirely, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows it's close. Only the next day, when he meets with the same scientist, does he recall it.

Steve glances down and tries his best not to break down in the middle of a conference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprising that steve's at a conference instead of tony- oh wait, not really, because tony doesn't show up to any of his meetings


	3. zero zero zero zero

After all the proud ramblings and money and stolen time Howard spent on the great hero of Captain America, Tony expects a little less than a sneer in his face- "Take away the suit, what are you?"

 _What is he?_ He is nothing but blood and bones, remnants of alcohol pulsing through his veins and shards of shrapnel struggling to pierce his pumping heart whole. He wants the world to see he's human, but the red and gold paint an indestructible exterior. Tony can't even look directly into the azure of Steve's eyes (a color he usually doesn't mind) without a spark of anger stirring within him.

It's a powerful wildfire, but he always aims it the wrong way. "Put on the suit, let's go a couple rounds," and Tony can just feel them rubbing each other the wrong way like the friction of grinding metal in his workshop. But he can't quit the unnatural anger that takes ahold of him now, and something about Steve indicates he's frustrated too, but he can't tell why.

So Tony pushes it down like he always does. Pushes it down when Pepper leaves him, pushes it down when Cap snarls vicious words, pushes it down as the world almost ends. He's needed. He's needed in all the ways he's been needed his entire life, so why does it feel so forlorn now?


	4. Time is Irreversible

"Why do you hate me so much?" Tony asks one night, as liquor slurs his words and weighs his mind down. He could've stopped his fingers from grasping a bottle neck and bringing it to his mouth, but giving in is just too easy.

Steve looks surprised, hair mussed from sleep, and takes in every detail of the intoxicated billionaire. Examining. Analyzing. Judging. And then an expression of regret passes over his face. "I... I don't hate you."

Tony smirks in reply, leaning down on the counter top even as he sits. "Don't hate you either."

"I'm sorry," Captain America tells him clearly, loudly. "I don't hate you. I'm just having some personal issues right now, and you're involved. but- indirectly, and it's definitely not your fault. God, I..."

He stares at the slump of a man, still dressed in a fine suit. "...I shouldn't be telling you this when you're drunk. But I'm sorry about this, I really am. I'm taking out all of my anger on you."

Steve looks incredibly upset now. And Tony- Tony can't shape comprehensible words with his mouth, but he wishes he could. He stretches up again, stumbling out of his seat, and tries to take a step- but falls.

Someone catches him.

A sigh. "I can't leave you here," Steve says, like he needs to uphold his morals or face death at the moment, and then he's carrying the other man in strong arms. It's awkward. Tony knows he reeks of alcohol, but hears no comment on it, and instead catches sight of the zeroes along Steve's arm. "Who's the special lady?"

Steve doesn't stop, but his breath hitches indefinitely. He seems to look down contemplatively. "That's the problem."

"Missed it?"

"Yeah," he nods, turning a corner. It's a good thing he doesn't get lost much in the building anymore.

"Me too," Tony murmurs, and Steve pauses at the foot of his bed, furrowing his brow in confusion, because Pepper- but he realizes the other man is already passed out. He lays him on the bed carefully.

Steve lays awake in his for a long time, thinking.


	5. I Lost You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huge huge apologies for breaking my rule. it's been a week. i was going to post this chapter much earlier but got caught up in other work, and the ao3 maintenance thing, and just ugh. won't happen again, promise :')

"Hi. Mr. Stark." Captain America awaits nervously outside the door of a laboratory, eyeing the vast glass walls with uncertainty.

"Tony," the man addressed waves a hand nonchalantly, and if he's surprised to see him, he doesn't show it. Tony swivels around in his favorite roller chair, fingers absentmindedly tinkering with a gadget. "JARVIS, let the man in."

"As you wish, sir."

Steve enters, clears his throat, opens his mouth to say something, and closes it again.

"Out with it," Tony raises an eyebrow, chucking the metal away to give Dum-E something to do. "What? Bad news? I'm being booted from the team, aren't I?"

"No! No, nothing like that," comes the flustered reply, and a faint splash of pink tinges the strip of skin below Steve's eyes, across his nose. "I just... sorry, I know this is personal, but... do you have a soulmate?"

Tony doesn't want to tell the truth.

He doesn't want to look Captain America in the eye and tell him he missed it, and he doesn't want the scorn or pity or disdain.

"'Course," Tony tilts his head. He can lie like Clint can shoot arrows: swiftly, rapidly, accurately, and effortlessly. "Pepper. Why?"

A flicker of disappointment passes over Steve's face, and it's so sudden he can't tell if it was even there in the first place or not. "Oh- I- okay. Just... just wondering. Sorry to bother you."

It's so _submissive_. Steve is not submissive. Tony may be a beautiful liar but he is a beautiful lie detector, too. "You're lying," he says like the hypocrite he is, "Won't tell anyone, pinky promise."

"No- no, it's nothing. Really."

Tony swivels closer. "Swear it on my father's life."

"I'll... be going now."

Tony shrugs, looking faintly disappointed, and turns back to whatever he was working on, before abruptly turning back around. "Oh, Steve, and can you-"

"I thought we were soulmates," he blurts out, and then immediately looks horrified. "No, wait- I meant- because my timer was near the day I met you, and when I got home, it was all zeroes and I thought I missed it but yesterday when you were drunk I told you about it and you said 'Me too,' so I just thought-"

"Wait, you're the one that carried me to bed yesterday-"

"-but I didn't know Pepper was your soulmate-"

"-zeroes, really-"

"-guess I missed it, then, I'm sorry-"

"I'm sorry," Tony says a little bit louder, simple and resounding. "I don't know what was going through my head yesterday night. I... My soulmate is Pepper. I guess you... you missed it."

Steve looks heartbroken and humiliated at the same time.

"It's alright, buddy," Tony doesn't know why he lies. "You can still settle down without a soulmate, y'know. Lotta girls want to be with Captain America, if you catch my drift."

"Thanks, Tony," he mumbles quietly and exits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh tony


	6. one day; four hours

It's mere days before the Battle of New York, the one that will change his life forever, although Tony has no idea. But he's a genius. He can predict whether the end of the world is near, and it's difficult to predict whether a super soldier out of time, a Norse god, an intimidating redhead, and a snarky archer can stop it.

Oh, and their... not-so-secret weapon, the Hulk. Tony may be relying a little too much on them, and his suit, of course, but the fight is nearing. He feels it in his bones.

"Something big's coming, Pep," he tells her one day, fumbling around with some tech between his fingers, but ever since the conversation with Cap, it's been so hard to concentrate. Every time his mind wanders, it flashes back to the dejected look on Steve's face.

"Don't say ominous things like that," she frowns, strawberry blonde hair drawn back in a perfect ponytail.

"I know it is."

"Tony. I need... I need to talk to you." Pepper approaches his desk with a staccato clicking of her heels, and something in her tone lodges a heavy feeling in his gut. "This is important, okay? Listen."

He throws the pieces in his hands to the side. "Anything for you, my dear."

She breathes deeply, and then furrows her brow. "Tony, I'm breaking up with you."

"You're not allowed."

"Not- _not allowed?_   What do you mean, I'm not allowed?"

"I need you. You're CEO. You're the love of my life," he states simply. "You're not allowed."

"I'm not resigning, Tony. I'm just... I'm trying to break up with you, can't you-"

"You're breaking my heart-"

"Is it working? Because I just need-"

"No-"

"Yes. Yes, no, wait. Tony, be quiet." She takes a deep breath. "I'm breaking up with you. I found... I found my soulmate."

Tony's been dreading this day since their first kiss, and he keeps his composure, because if he's good at anything, it's faking nonchalance. He knows he's not being lied to, he doesn't have to check for the zeroes, and yet, he never wants to let her go. "Who is it?"

"You don't know him," Pepper sighs, and he wants to kiss the splash of freckles along her nose. "Met him a week ago. I'm sorry, Tony, I really am. You know I love you, just not... like that."

"It's fine. It's fine. I- I understand." He throws some equipment just a little too hard to Dum-E. "It's A-Okay, Pep. Soulmates. Bonding. Fate. The stuff. The real deal."

She frowns, and he wants to smooth the crease between her eyes. "Tony, you cannot get angry at me. I'm sorry, alright? But you knew this was going to end sooner or later, Tony, you knew. We both did. You know it."

"I guess I just wasn't prepared," he grits out. He's being so irrational, but he can't stop. "I'll just wallow in self-pity after you leave to go fuck someone else, but I understand. Everyone leaves."

"Stop it. Just stop," and her voice is rising, "I loved you once, Tony, I probably did, but it's over! You don't really think about me that way anymore, and neither do I. You _knew_ this was coming, why are you acting like this?"

"Because I still love you," Tony says, and his voice is hollow, meaningless, like a quiet echo resounding off the walls of a vast room. He stands as if under a trance, making his way towards the door. Leaving Pepper there with all her lies. All her lies and zeroes and god, he just wants a drink, and when did his face get wet-

JARVIS slides it open to reveal Steve, just as Pepper shouts, "I'm not even your goddamn soulmate!"

A few seconds of agonizing and utter silence.

Tony says to the Captain, very quietly, "I lied."

He bolts out in mere seconds, without a destination in mind. Maybe a bar.

Maybe he can drink all his sorrows away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> either one or two chapters left guaranteed.


	7. three minutes

The next day is very, very awkward.

First of all, Steve is completely ignoring him. Well, not completely, except for the usual curt remarks of barking orders and clarifying battle strategies. But other than that, he hasn't looked at him directly in the eyes once the entire morning. And Tony has no idea what to say  anyway, so he doesn't try to catch him alone.

Secondly, Pepper is gone. JARVIS tells him she left yesterday night, after the mess of a fight they had. She wasn't supposed to leave until next week. It hurts. But he knows he deserves it, somewhere deep inside his egotistical conscience.

Even the team seems to have sensed the underlying hostility, and they subtly back off a few times. Tony doesn't joke a lot today, and Steve doesn't scold him either.

Then none of it really matters anymore, because Loki escapes and Chitauri invade Manhattan like an infestation of robotic aliens. Because that's literally what they are. Robotic aliens.

"Call it, Cap," he shouts over the chaos, and then they're fighting. It's a satisfying break from all this dealing-with-emotions shit, and Tony soars through the air, feeling the content push of repulsor blasts exploding from his hands with every command. The suit is glorious, powerful, _liberating_.

Yet the summoned army is hideous, and even stronger.

It's a whirlwind of fist to- metal?- before time lapses in a frighteningly tiring play-by-play. The team is exhausted, but there's so many more, and they can do it...

"There's too many of them," and then there are nukes heading towards the city. Tony looks up at the rippling portal of deep outer space split open in the sky, and he gets an idea. He looks up at the frightening wormhole, bleeding and spilling toxins (just like he is), and he gets an idea.

On the way up, he calls Pepper, because even though they had a nasty fight and she has a soulmate now and he will never be with her, she's still one of his best friends. She's stuck with him through the thick and thin, and he can love her platonically, too- he knows he can.

But she doesn't pick up. The love of his life doesn't answer.

So Tony is sucked through the portal, and all he can think about is Steve and what could've been. It's so cold in here, god, it's fucking freezing- the kind of cold he's never felt before, that vibrates through his bones and leaves him breathlessly agonized. In the distance, there's a colossal mothership, surrounded by gigantic aliens, a cold contrast against the beautifully stark background of space behind it.

He watches it combust before darkness slips into his vision.


	8. zero zero zero zero

Tony can sense a gentle hand sliding down his suit, over the arc reactor. Hopeless, limp, defeated. He hears the roar of a thousand men, and awakes to the sight of his beaten, bloody, beautiful team.

The Avengers.

Steve smiles, relief beyond belief evident on his face, and pants breathlessly as Tony rambles on about schwarma.

Later, after medics have patched Captain America up, and Iron Man has shooed them all away with disgruntled remarks, they sit beside each other in a quiet room, away from the bustling noise. In minutes there will be meetings to attend, civilians to assure, and neighborhoods to clean up.

But it waits a second for this.

"I'm sorry for lying," Tony admits, expelling the apology from the deepest regions of his (seemingly) self-absorbed mind. "I didn't want... I didn't want your pity, I guess. And I didn't want to believe my soulmate was someone who didn't even like me."

"Not true. I do like you," Steve furrows his brow, looking at him. "I was wrong about you, Tony. What you did out there... it was one of the bravest things I've ever seen. You've earned my respect a thousand times over."

Tony raises an eyebrow.

"Alright, maybe just a hundred times." They laugh, it's easy.

"Enough of this sentimental crap," Tony stands. "We're superheroes. Act like it."

"We're soulmates too, Tony." Steve stands too, but carefully, holding one arm closely as if to guard it from any bad disposition. "Is that... Are you...?"

"It'll work," he replies, nodding through the words, and then they're kissing.

It's long. Tony curls his fingers behind the nape of Steve's neck. "It'll work."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end. this had like no plot whatsoever but I hope you enjoyed just for fun


End file.
